Being a parent is a true labor of love that you don’t take lightly. Being the parent of a child with autism has its own unique set of situations and challenges to face every day.
There may be parents who don’t understand autism or neurodiversity. Some of them might voice their concerns about your child with autism. Yes, this can be frustrating. But it offers a chance to educate other parents about your child’s processing.
Read our guide with seven practical tips for telling other parents about your child’s autism.
Table of Contents
Situations in Which This Might Happen
You want your child to grow into an independent adult. However, you also want your child to do things that children do, like socializing with peers, playing, and attending school.
There might be some situations where your child feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to handle some new stimuli, even if you’ve prepared them for what may happen.
Remember, your youngster always comes first. You might not be in a position to offer advice or assurance because your child’s needs are more important than the needs of other parents.
You should be ready to explain your child with autism to other parents in these situations if it’s warranted.
Parties With Their Peers & Friends
It’s natural for your child to want to spend time with their friends. Classmates at school will probably invite their friends to birthday parties at their house, park, or other location. There might also be Halloween or winter holiday parties.
Parties may present challenges for children with autism because of the noise, smells, lots of people, and limited space. These factors often result in overstimulation. In some cases, your child may be discouraged from wearing noise-canceling headphones during the party.
Sleepovers
Sleepovers, like parties, may offer unexpected surprises for children. Kids love routines. Spending the night at another child’s house means sleeping in a different place they’re not used to. There might also be games to play that could be noisy. And there is probably going to be food or a late-night snack.
Extracurricular School Activities
After-school activities can be fun for your child, and they can help them bond with their classmates. They offer a laid-back atmosphere that’s different from a formal classroom setting. Again, children love routines. And your child might not understand what’s going to happen during an after-school activity. They may feel out of sorts and see some kids from other classes they don’t know.
Make sure to tell your child that after-school activities are a safe environment and that they can talk to the teacher if they feel overwhelmed.
Field Trips
Field trips offer opportunities for learning outside of the classroom. Whether your child’s class visits the fire station, a museum, a natural area, or a government building, there are endless ways to learn about the world around them in their own community.
These opportunities may also be over-stimulating for children with autism. It’s important to assess your child’s behavior to see if they are ready for the independence of going on a field trip outside of the classroom.
Preparing for the Conversation With Other Parents
It’s important to prepare for these conversations in advance. While they can seem negative, try to consider positive outcomes. The nature of the conversation can be different based on what you want to accomplish, from avoiding misunderstandings to being an advocate for your child’s neurodiversity.
For example, if your child is invited to another’s house for a party, consider reaching out to the party’s host to offer an explanation so that the parents at the party can act appropriately if someone feels overwhelmed.
There are four main reasons parents may want to discuss their child’s autism. It’s up to you as to when to broach the subject, either beforehand (like at a school’s open house) or during a social event outside of school.
Promoting Understanding and Empathy
Children with autism may have behaviors that appear different from those of their peers. Parents can help other adults understand why their child may react differently or need more support at times.
Encouraging Inclusive Play and Social Opportunities
Sometimes, children with autism may have a harder time with typical social interactions. Sharing information can help other parents feel more comfortable encouraging their children to include a child with autism in play or activities.
Avoiding Misinterpretations
This is a often a top concern for parents that we hear because they don’t want their children to be stigmatized as someone who behaves badly. Without explanation, certain behaviors (like needing to move around, repeating words, or avoiding eye contact) might be misunderstood as disrespect or lack of interest. Knowing about autism helps adults see these as traits, not defiance or rudeness.
Creating a Supportive Community
When other parents are informed, they can help foster a more welcoming environment. It might also help them prepare their own children to be kind and understanding if they encounter children with autism or other neurodivergent traits.
How to Start the Conversation
The more you practice conversing with other parents about your child’s autism, the easier the discussion will become.
Start with something positive about your child’s qualities or strengths, like their devotion to a family pet, a funny anecdote that other parents can relate to, or how they interact with their peers.
Then, keep things simple with a brief explanation of how your child handles things differently than other kids.
Here’s an example conversation:
You, as a parent: “Hey, I wanted to chat with you for a moment about Jacob. He’s really into puzzles and has an amazing memory for details—it’s one of the things we love most about him!”
Other parent: “That sounds awesome! How old is he now?”
You: “He just turned six! There’s one thing I wanted to mention too. Jacob has autism, which just means he sometimes experiences things a little differently than other kids.”
Other parent: “Oh, okay, thanks for sharing that. Is there anything I need to know to help him?”
You: “Absolutely! For Jacob, this means he can be a bit sensitive to loud sounds and might need some breaks during playtime if things get overwhelming. And he might not always join in conversations right away or might repeat things. It’s his way of processing. But once he’s comfortable, he’s super friendly!”
Other parent: “That’s good to know. If our kids are playing, is there anything you’d want us to do?”
You: “Just being patient if he needs a moment to himself or seems a bit quieter at first really helps. He loves it when other kids invite him to play, even if he’s a little shy initially. And feel free to ask me anything. I’m always happy to chat about it!”
Not all parents will be this friendly, depending on the situation. They might be too busy for even a quick conversation. But even just chatting for a minute can be proactive and alleviate any concerns about how your child will be treated by their peers or other adults.
Explaining Autism & How It Affects Your Child
It’s important to encourage questions and conversations with other parents to help them understand autism and how it affects your child. A metaphorical example might work in this case.
“Think of my child’s brain like a different operating system on a computer, phone, or gaming console. They process things in their own way, which sometimes means they interpret sounds, sights, and even social interactions differently from others. Just like with any operating system, you learn to understand and work with it to get the best results. An Android phone may be different from an iPhone. But they both get to the end result using different tools, apps, and screens. My child may need extra time to load new information, or certain tasks may take different steps for them. But once you know how they work, you see all the unique abilities and amazing perspectives they bring!”
This metaphor highlights that while your child’s way of processing might be different, it’s valuable and functional. Your child just runs on their own terms. It also shows that understanding autism can lead to a greater appreciation of the child’s strengths.
Another thing to bring up is that everyone is different, not just children with autism. Talk to the other parent about how their children stand out in their own special ways that are different from their parents, siblings, or classmates.
On a broader scope, you can explain that autism affects how your child experiences the world, communicates, responds to their environment, and socializes. You might discuss your child’s triggers, what they’re sensitive to, and what helps them to stay calm and relaxed.
You can also suggest ways other parents can support your child in play settings. Simple things like patience, gentle encouragement, and creating a calm environment can make a huge difference.
Addressing Questions & Concerns
Sometimes, a parent will come to you with questions and concerns. Start by reassuring them. You can explain that autism affects each child uniquely, and with some understanding, children with autism can enjoy positive interactions with others. Autism doesn’t limit connections with others, and every child can benefit from inclusive friendships.
Providing a few key facts about autism is a great way to address their concerns. For example, you might explain that some children with autism have sensory sensitivities, which may make loud noises or busy settings challenging. Autism can also affect communication styles, but with patience and understanding, social connections can develop and thrive.
You might also explain that every child feels tired, hungry, cranky, and overwhelmed at some point. How would the other parent want their child to be treated in that situation? With loving, caring, and kindness. It’s easy to bond with other parents in general because they want the same thing you do, which is for their children to be happy.
Offering resources from autism organizations can be incredibly helpful for parents who want to learn more. Autism Speaks, the Autism Society of America, and the National Autism Association are all great places to start.
Practice for Your Child’s Independence
Encouraging play dates and social interactions with your child’s peers offers a great opportunity to foster your child’s independence.
Remember, children with autism thrive in the routine. Practice with your child about how to act in certain situations, like when they get overwhelmed, when a friend asks them questions, or how to play with others. If your child has siblings or cousins to practice with, that’s a great way to get them comfortable in social settings because they are already familiar with family members.
Handling Negative Interactions
Remember, people are unique in their own ways and will react to situations differently. Not all parents may react to your child’s behavior in a positive way. It’s important to remain calm and redirect the conversation away from negativity.
Start by reaffirming your child’s strengths. You might say, “I know my child has unique needs, but he brings so many great qualities. He’s devoted to our dog, Scooter, and takes such good care of him.” This begins the conversation on a positive note, emphasizing that every child has qualities worth celebrating. Many parents can relate to kids taking care of their pets, so that’s a good topic to talk about if it’s relevant.
You could try to gently correct any misconceptions. If the other parent seems concerned, you might explain, “Autism affects how my child processes the world, which sometimes means he reacts differently to sounds or social settings. With patience, he learns and adjusts like any other child.” This calmly addresses concerns and reframes behavior in a more positive light.
Redirecting the conversation means focusing on the positives, such as shared values, common ground, and being a parent.
“We both want what’s best for our kids.”
“Look, our kids are both making such cool craft items.”
“One thing I love about being a parent is watching our kids grow in new ways.”
Help Your Child With Autism to Grow
My World ABA can help your child with autism to grow and excel. To learn more about our services or answer additional questions, contact us through our website or call (417) 818-5784 today. We have offices in Springfield, Ozark, and Joplin, Missouri.
